Four Awful Facts About Influence

If you are leader in life, in the church, in your workplace in your family or in your friendship groups, like it or not you are also a person of influence. If your desire is to be successful or to make a positive impact on those around you, you need to become a person of influence.

Without influence, there is no success. If you're a salesperson wanting to sell more of your product, you need to be able to influence your customers. If you're a manager, your success depends on your ability to influence your employees. If you're a church leader, your ability to reach people and grow your ministry depends on your influence within the people you lead. No matter what your goals are, you can achieve them faster, you can be more effective, and the contribution you make can be longer lasting if you learn how to become a person of influence.

However, influence can be a heavy burden to carry in leadership. Here are four awful facts about Influence.

#1 Your Whole Life is on Display

Recently, I was having lunch with a group of my key ministry leaders. We were doing that lovely thing where you go around the circle and each say something encouraging to everyone in the group. When it got to my turn to be encouraged, a pattern emerged in the comments. I listened to these young leaders all say very encouraging things about me as a leader, as a follower of Jesus but also terrifyingly they were saying things like "I just want to have a marriage like yours and Michael's" and "I hope I can have a relationship as great as you have with Michael". I politely nodded and said thanks, but when I got home I grabbed my husbands shoulders, looked him in the eye and said firmly "Baby, we have got to step things up in our relationship, people are looking at us and wanting to be us".  I thought, 'Wow, if they could see Michael and I on a Sunday afternoon when I have been at church since ridiculous o'clock and he has been studying all morning and conveniently forgot to do the dishes that he promised to do the night before then they would not be saying "I want to have a relationship like you and Michael".'

However, I did realise in this moment the power of influence that lies in a leader. I want my followers to be inspired by my vision, be infected by my passion for Jesus and be empowered by my experience. But they are also following my lead on... everything else.

If you are leading well, then you are influencing people with your whole life. People are looking at the whole version of you, your spiritual life, your family life, your personal life, your friendships, the language that you use, what you read, what you watch, how you behave, your whole life. That's a big responsibility and that's just an awful fact about Influence.

#2 You've Got to Listen to People

Maybe this is a personal one that only effects me but,  I am not a great listener. The world would be much easier for me if everyone just did whatever I told them to, without comment or complaint. Does that sound familiar to anyone else?

Unfortunately, to be an effective leader you need to learn how to listen to others. Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence people, advised "You can make more friends in two weeks by becoming a good listener than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you." Carnegie was incredibly gifted at understanding relationships. he recognised that people who are self-focused and who talk abut themselves and their concerns all the time rarely develop strong relationships with others. By becoming a good litterer you are able to connect with others on more levels and develop stronger, deeper relationships because you are meeting a need.

A funny thing happens when you don't make a practice of listening to people. They find others who will. Anytime employees, spouses, colleagues, children or friends no longer believe they are being listened to, they seek out people who will give them what they want. Sometimes the consequences can be disastrous: the end of a friendship, lack of authority at work, lessened parental influence or the breakdown of a marriage. On the other hand, practicing good listening skills draws people to you. And if you consistently listen to others, valuing them and what they have to offer, they are likely to develop a strong loyalty to you, even when your authority with them is unofficial or informal.

Can you think of people you haven't been listening to lately? I can. How is this effecting your influence on them? Not positively, another awful fact about influence.


#3 Backing Bad Ideas

If you work in a team and you haven't been faced with backing something you think is a bad idea, get ready to, because it will happen at some point. Recently as a church we agreed to start something that I wasn't against, I certainly believed it was what God wanted us to do but I was unsure of the timing and some of the logistics. I spoke up and lodged my concern with those involved and the wider team but the decision was to move ahead.

I then faced a significant challenge. The people who are influenced by me were going to want to know what I think and I had to choose whether to speak negatively or positively about this new venture we were undertaking as a church. Knowing the influence I had, I had to make a commitment to back the idea when talking about it with my team. I've got to admit, this left a bad taste in my mouth, but being a good team member and being committed to the larger vision of the church or organisation that you are a part of means influencing people in a way that breeds unity not division.

The challenge got greater when I had to make an announcement about the new venture in front of the whole church community. It still left a bad taste in my mouth but, as a person of influence I chose to generate excitement and anticipation around something new for us a church instead of generating suspicion and negativity around something I wasn't 100% sure of. Another awful fact about influence.


#4 It's not about You.

Finally, I have been called to be a person of Influence. God has entrusted influence to me to use for a significant purpose. Personally, God has called me to be a leader in his Church, he has given me eyes to see potential in others and calls me to empower the people around me. This call from God is not about me and building the kingdom of Cath but is all about God, serving Him and building the kingdom of God.

To be an effective leader, I need to put myself aside and step into what God has called me to do in this life at this time. The influence God has given me is another tool he has equipped me with to fulfil my calling.

What has God given you your influence for?

Leading From Your Strengths

1 Corinthians 12:12-18

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.  For we were all baptised by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.  Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.

Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.

When I first began to build a team to lead children's ministry at Gateway I instinctively chose two types of people. 1. People just like me - dreamers, impulsive, straight shooters and 2. People who loved to encourage, people who just applauded everything I did. This team, I thought was perfect. I loved them, we had a great time together we spent all our time dreaming about the future of kids ministry and we were super encouraged in every decision we made. 

The problem was...we got nothing done. I mean nothing, we came up with plans and visions and ideas galore but I had no one on the team that was capable of putting a process in place, thinking through strategically what we would need to do to actually reach the goals we were setting. 

Even though we had a good time and felt really encouraged we were missing an integral part of the team unit and were were never going to achieve anything as a team if we didn't find those people.

When Paul speaks to the church in Corinth about them being like a body he makes five points.

1. God created us to be Interdependent not Independent  (vs 12)

Throughout the bible we see leader after leader who needed people to complete the goal. Right from the beginning Adam needed Eve, Moses had Jethro and Joshua, Paul had Ananias, Barnabas and Timothy and Jesus had his disciples. In fact, even God operates in a sort of team being God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit all at once. 

God never intended us to lead alone we are created to be interdependent not independent.

2. You do not need to become someone different to belong. (vs 14.15)

Psalm 139 tells us that we were each knitted together in our mother's womb by God and that each of us are fearfully and wonderfully made. 

Why would we choose to change who we are to belong, when God has already made us perfect? 

We can choose to judge ourselves and others and see weakness or we can value ourselves and others and see strengths. 

3. There is great value in our differences (vs 17)

It is not enough in leadership to look around and value those around you. We, as leaders need to understand that we are lacking without others. We need others to do the work of the Lord. There is nothing more satisfying for me as a leader then to find someone I bring the best out in and who brings out the best in me. What I lack, she or he has in abundance. Our differences are what makes us as individuals stronger and even stronger as a team. 

4. Our differences are designed to complete us not to defeat us (vs18)

In the last sentence of the passage Paul says "God has placed the parts of the body" in other translations we see the word "set" instead of "placed" and the meaning comes from jeweller's terminology. Like a master jeweller would carefully set a stone in a piece of jewellery so God sets us carefully to be a part of His body. A jeweller works tirelessly to set the stone perfectly to ensure the ring, necklace or bracelet is beautiful for a lifetime. So it is with God, He works all things together for good (Romans 8:28) we are placed perfectly to complete the body of Christ.

5. What you decide to do with differences will divide you or unite you.

Are you unique or are you different? Do those around you have strengths or weaknesses? 

Division comes out of pride and arrogance. Unity comes out of humility and submission.

After having these realisations for myself I recruited Dani onto the team. Dani was and still is a God send. She is the complete opposite to me in every way. I'm fast paced, she is slow paced, I'm a dreamer, she's an applier, I think on my feet, she thinks over a number of days after considering all the options. She frustrates me no end (I think I frustrate her more) but when I need to be slowed or she needs to be faster we are perfect for each other. When something urgent needs to be solved I'm your guy, but when something needs pace, collaboration, a process - Dani is perfect. 

Who is the better leader? The truth is, I am at my best when Dani is at her best and Dani is at her best when I am at my best, we are like two sharp items sharpening each other. That is the body of Christ at work and that is God's intention. 

I thank God every day for Dani and the blessing she is to me as a leader and I am still trying to find more Dani's and Dani is always on the look out for a few Cath's. And we both need encourages to clap us on! 

Where is your value in the body of Christ? and Who is sharpening your leadership edge? 

Entrusted

Matthew 25:14-30

 “Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them.  To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey.  The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more.  But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.

 “After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them.  The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’

 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

 “The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’

 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

 “Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed.  So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’

 “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed?  Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

 “‘So take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.  And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Here is a story that Jesus tells of a master who entrusted his wealth to three servants. He didn't hand over his wealth to them to own, this master, this wealthy man says "I'm going to allow you to manage my money while I'm gone and I want you to do with my wealth what I would do with my wealth.

He looks, like any leader would at three of his people, sees what potential they have and entrusts to them a portion of his wealth to see what they will do with that potential and then he empowers them by leaving them alone.

We then see what these servants do with what they've been entrusted with. The first man, who received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work, invests it wisely and gains five bags more. The second, takes his two bags of gold, invests it, uses it wisely and doubles his money as well.

But, the third servant after receiving his one bag, goes out, digs a hole and hides his masters money. He looks at his one bag and says to himself "one bag? what can I do with one bag of gold?" and instead of investing what he has been entrusted with, he buries it.

When the master returns he requests his report. The first servant, can not wait to tell the master what he has done and show him the ten bags of gold he now has. The second is the same, running to tell the master what he has.  They both receive a "well done good and faithful servant" from their master and are entrusted with more to invest.

The third servant sheepishly approaches the Master and where the first two started with "..you entrusted me." he starts with excuses - "you are a hard man" "you are a risky guy" and... "I was afraid" The master replies "you wicked and lazy servant" and the little Greek word for 'wicked' here can also be translated into 'worthless" and perhaps in this context that's a more accurate word - "You worthless, lazy servant. 

The master's anger isn't derived from the servant's immoral nature or something he has done, the master is angry because his servant didn't do anything. He didn't see this as something entrusted to him. He missed the whole point of the exercise. 

The truth is, we all have a bag of gold that has been entrusted to us.You have a unique treasure that is your life, that is who you are and God has entrusted that to you. Your experience, your passion, your history, your story, your skills, talents and gifts all make up a unique treasure that is uinquely you and God has entrusted those things, those core elements of who you are , He has entrusted them to you to sow into those coming along behind you. 

You are a unique combination of successes, failures and experiences, your life is a bag of God - So what are you going to do with it?

I'll tell you what most people do with it. They bury it. But we have an opportunity as servants of the ultimate master to take what we've been entrusted with and invest it in the generations coming up behind us, into tomorrow's leaders. We have a responsibility to hand on the baton and to hand it on in a way that it continues to get handed on for generation and generations.

We all have a bag of gold within us, you and I have been entrusted with a treasure and when your life is over, when you come to the end, will you be able to say "master, see what I have done with what you entrusted to me"? Or will your treasure be buried in the ground when you are? 

The Journey From The Carpet To The Couch

When I first got the job of Children's Pastor, I thought "Fantastic! I'm going to sit on the carpet with kids and colour and do craft and tell stories about Jesus, this is going to be great" Six years into the job and  I hardly spend any time on the carpet with kids and more time sitting on the couch with leaders.

This has been the foundation of my personal leadership journey. I have been challenged and learnt more about God, people and myself sitting on that couch then I ever would have sitting on the carpet colouring in.

The truth is I already knew how to sit on the carpet and tell kids about Jesus. What God was calling me to do was take a step up and use what I already knew about kids ministry to inspire, encourage and empower others around me. When I finally settled into this new call I realised that my passion to see kids come to know Jesus hadn't disappeared (I don't think it ever will) but the most joy I was experiencing was seeing young leaders under my stewardship realise their potential and stepping up  to discover how God had gifted them and placed them in the world to make a difference.

I remember when I was searching for a teaching team for our Sunday morning program, my inner most desire was just to do all the teaching myself but I knew God had called me to more. So I sent out some cards to leaders I thought my be interested in having a go at teaching a couple of hundred kids about Jesus.

On the card I had a few tick boxes where I wanted leaders to indicate their interest in different aspects of leadership. One particular young, male leader filled in the card and gave it back to me. He had ticked the "I would like to join the teaching team" box but then put a big question mark beside it. When I saw his card I felt the whisper of the Holy Spirit say to me "Yes, this is it, push him, encourage him, empower him. I knew in that moment that God had a significant purpose for this young man and what was really exciting was that I going to be a part of it.

I approached him and asked him to join the team, I gave him some training, resourced him and then gave him one more nudge on his big Sunday debut. He got up on stage, nervously took the microphone and... absolutely nailed it. I don't think I have ever watched any communicator (in the world of kids or otherwise) do better their first time on stage. He was a natural and I had the absolute privilege  to continue to work with him, nurture him and see God use him more and more in powerful ways. I had the amazing opportunity to see God work in him and through him to see young lives changed and to extend the Kingdom of God.

This for me, is what starting up in leadership is all about. Taking a step back and seeing those around you who have the potential to take a step forward.

When Jesus ascended to heaven he said to his disciples "you will receive power when he Holy Spirit come on you; an you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." (Acts1:7) He said to a group of ordinary people "Go! It's your turn now, I'll be with you to the ends of the earth, but it's up to you now. Go and build my kingdom."

The greatest joy in my leadership is to see others developed into leaders. I continue to step more and more backward in ministry, to give more and more opportunities for others to step forward. That has been my journey from the carpet to the couch.