If you are leader in life, in the church, in your workplace in your family or in your friendship groups, like it or not you are also a person of influence. If your desire is to be successful or to make a positive impact on those around you, you need to become a person of influence.Without influence, there is no success. If you're a salesperson wanting to sell more of your product, you need to be able to influence your customers. If you're a manager, your success depends on your ability to influence your employees. If you're a church leader, your ability to reach people and grow your ministry depends on your influence within the people you lead. No matter what your goals are, you can achieve them faster, you can be more effective, and the contribution you make can be longer lasting if you learn how to become a person of influence.
However, influence can be a heavy burden to carry in leadership. Here are four awful facts about Influence.
#1 Your Whole Life is on Display
Recently, I was having lunch with a group of my key ministry leaders. We were doing that lovely thing where you go around the circle and each say something encouraging to everyone in the group. When it got to my turn to be encouraged, a pattern emerged in the comments. I listened to these young leaders all say very encouraging things about me as a leader, as a follower of Jesus but also terrifyingly they were saying things like "I just want to have a marriage like yours and Michael's" and "I hope I can have a relationship as great as you have with Michael". I politely nodded and said thanks, but when I got home I grabbed my husbands shoulders, looked him in the eye and said firmly "Baby, we have got to step things up in our relationship, people are looking at us and wanting to be us". I thought, 'Wow, if they could see Michael and I on a Sunday afternoon when I have been at church since ridiculous o'clock and he has been studying all morning and conveniently forgot to do the dishes that he promised to do the night before then they would not be saying "I want to have a relationship like you and Michael".'
However, I did realise in this moment the power of influence that lies in a leader. I want my followers to be inspired by my vision, be infected by my passion for Jesus and be empowered by my experience. But they are also following my lead on... everything else.
If you are leading well, then you are influencing people with your whole life. People are looking at the whole version of you, your spiritual life, your family life, your personal life, your friendships, the language that you use, what you read, what you watch, how you behave, your whole life. That's a big responsibility and that's just an awful fact about Influence.
#2 You've Got to Listen to People
Maybe this is a personal one that only effects me but, I am not a great listener. The world would be much easier for me if everyone just did whatever I told them to, without comment or complaint. Does that sound familiar to anyone else?
Unfortunately, to be an effective leader you need to learn how to listen to others. Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence people, advised "You can make more friends in two weeks by becoming a good listener than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you." Carnegie was incredibly gifted at understanding relationships. he recognised that people who are self-focused and who talk abut themselves and their concerns all the time rarely develop strong relationships with others. By becoming a good litterer you are able to connect with others on more levels and develop stronger, deeper relationships because you are meeting a need.
A funny thing happens when you don't make a practice of listening to people. They find others who will. Anytime employees, spouses, colleagues, children or friends no longer believe they are being listened to, they seek out people who will give them what they want. Sometimes the consequences can be disastrous: the end of a friendship, lack of authority at work, lessened parental influence or the breakdown of a marriage. On the other hand, practicing good listening skills draws people to you. And if you consistently listen to others, valuing them and what they have to offer, they are likely to develop a strong loyalty to you, even when your authority with them is unofficial or informal.
Can you think of people you haven't been listening to lately? I can. How is this effecting your influence on them? Not positively, another awful fact about influence.
#3 Backing Bad Ideas
If you work in a team and you haven't been faced with backing something you think is a bad idea, get ready to, because it will happen at some point. Recently as a church we agreed to start something that I wasn't against, I certainly believed it was what God wanted us to do but I was unsure of the timing and some of the logistics. I spoke up and lodged my concern with those involved and the wider team but the decision was to move ahead.
I then faced a significant challenge. The people who are influenced by me were going to want to know what I think and I had to choose whether to speak negatively or positively about this new venture we were undertaking as a church. Knowing the influence I had, I had to make a commitment to back the idea when talking about it with my team. I've got to admit, this left a bad taste in my mouth, but being a good team member and being committed to the larger vision of the church or organisation that you are a part of means influencing people in a way that breeds unity not division.
The challenge got greater when I had to make an announcement about the new venture in front of the whole church community. It still left a bad taste in my mouth but, as a person of influence I chose to generate excitement and anticipation around something new for us a church instead of generating suspicion and negativity around something I wasn't 100% sure of. Another awful fact about influence.
#4 It's not about You.
Finally, I have been called to be a person of Influence. God has entrusted influence to me to use for a significant purpose. Personally, God has called me to be a leader in his Church, he has given me eyes to see potential in others and calls me to empower the people around me. This call from God is not about me and building the kingdom of Cath but is all about God, serving Him and building the kingdom of God.
To be an effective leader, I need to put myself aside and step into what God has called me to do in this life at this time. The influence God has given me is another tool he has equipped me with to fulfil my calling.
What has God given you your influence for?
